…heartbeat
of the positive revolution
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Working Together Many people wonder why my husband and I work together. They say, “I could never work with my spouse.” I say, “Who else do you know so well, trust so much and want to spend your time with?” Yet, the path we walk together is strewn with the challenges of our differences. I’ve been wildly successful at setting goals and then “doing whatever it takes” to achieve them. Glenn sets his intention and then gently enters into a seemingly effortless flow. Oddly (to me) we sometimes reach the outcome simultaneously. I “tackle” problems; Glenn patiently waits for the solution to be revealed. It’s like the difference between my struggling to untie a knot in a delicate necklace vs. his lightly holding the chain until it unravels itself. With a new goal in sight, I urge Glenn to get to work. He starts down his easy-going path. It makes me crazy to see him so relaxed when I think he should be in high gear. Resentment builds and my inner victim shouts, “I’ll just do it all myself!” As frustration mounts, I call on the Agreements to help me. “I agree to resolve conflicts directly” starts a conversation with Glenn. “I agree to respect our differences” arises as Glenn reminds me that if I enjoy working intensely, go for it! But remember, that’s not his way. I reflect on how life would be if Glenn was as driven as I: we probably would have burned out a long time ago. Could it be a “blessing in disguise” that my husband is so laid back? “I agree to change what isn’t working.” Me! I begin focusing on the task rather than blaming. As results appear, I relax. Suddenly I’m appreciating Glenn’s way. I “see the best” in him. His piece of the puzzle and mine fit together in such a complementary way that I am totally empowered to do what I love, work day and night if I want, and still have a loving husband and family to return to. Ah, a “blessing in disguise”! Once again I am grateful for having the Agreements as my guide down the sometimes bumpy road of relationships. With a renewed appreciation for my darling husband, my joy of work, and my delight in continual personal growth, I attend to the final agreement and “lighten up!” With Gratitude,
Success
Stories Almost Lost in Paradise Deborah Spates, Marriage and Family Therapist (MFT) and Behavior Specialist for Dept. of Education, State of Hawaii My recent move to Hawaii fulfilled a lifelong dream. With all my resources on the line, I moved my two sons to Maui to begin a new life with new adventures. It seemed perfect…almost. Although he has no legal custodial rights and had shown minimal interest, the father of my youngest son chose the time of my move to initiate a legal proceeding hoping to force me to return to the mainland. As legal fees drained my resources further, my faith wavered and my health suffered. I was consumed with fear and anger. I turned to the Agreements for help. They had worked well when the weather was fair; now I would learn how they fared in stormy times. I made them my daily affirmations, although some days I just wanted to give up and give in. Here is what I discovered:
I do not yet know the final outcome of the litigation. I DO know that I am building a good support system with my new church friends and the Agreements. Am I sleeping with the Agreements under my pillow? Not yet. “Lighten up, lighten up, lighten up.” Editor’s Note: Another option to sleeping with the Agreements under your pillow, Deb, is to post them on the ceiling above your bed! As Bonnie Brandt wrote in “Magic Afoot” (August 2005 Revolutionary News), I bought the poster of the Agreements and mounted it on the ceiling above my bed so that I could see them first thing in the morning and last thing at night. March 23, Thursday, Fort Worth Convention Center, TX – “The Joyful Path to Presidential.” Marian teams up with Gail Hoag to present a Revolutionary Agreements workshop for Mannatech Associates who want more personal freedom and joy on their way to financial freedom. For more information on Mannatech, visit Marian’s wellness business website, www.head2wellness.com. April 10, Monday, Boulder, CO, Columbine Unity Church – As part of the series: Building Spiritual CommUnity led by Reverend Judi Elia Ballard, Marian and Glenn Head will share their experiences on “The Value of Agreements in Building Loving Relationships at Home, at Work and in the World.” Please call (303) 546-0114 for details. April 30, Sunday, Stafford, TX, Thoreau Unitarian Universalist Church – Rachel Claret of ORGANIZEN will host an adult discussion group on the Revolutionary Agreements. Please call 281/277-8882 for details. When Marian met Ohio Congressman Dennis Kucinich at the Dept. of Peace conference in Washington DC last September, she was introduced to his new wife. Marian knew immediately what she wanted to give them as a wedding gift: a copy of Revolutionary Agreements of course! A month or so later, she received a letter from the Congressman, in which he thanked Marian with these words: "Revolutionary Agreements, a thought-provoking and inspiring set of techniques to facilitate true peace in personal relationships…a great book." It’s been a long time since this old trooper has marched for peace on college campuses. My knees don’t handle the hard impact on concrete anymore, so now I march with the written word.
March For Peace March connotes so many things We cast our eyes away from winter In our hearts we do the same, It’s time to shovel out the soul That first small bud and robin’s call Onward March!
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