…heartbeat
of the positive revolution
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July 2005 Pollyanna Power Ever since
being asked on a radio show how Revolutionary Agreements distinguishes
itself from “Pollyanna” self-help books, I’ve
been troubled. As the 12-year old heroine of Eleanor Porter’s wildly popular 1913 novel, Pollyanna gave us so much hope and inspiration that adults formed “Glad Clubs” all over the country to play the “Glad Game” her dad had taught her: how to discover something to be glad about in the midst of something we’re sad about. Years later, someone twisted Pollyanna’s gift of infectious optimism into a perversely negative connotation. Now we often hear it said with scorn, “Don’t be such a Pollyanna.” What the world needs now is MORE, not less Pollyannas. The character of Pollyanna is neither blindly optimistic nor without struggle. Instead, she is a model of seeing blessings in disguise in the midst of adversity, and of seeing the best in people—releasing the light and love buried in the hearts of even her most crotchety community members. Ok, ok… so she is just a character in a book. How could anybody really rise above the challenges she faced: motherless at an early age, fathered by a poor minister with too little money to properly clothe her, sentenced to live in a hot, bare attic room in the home of her bitter, spinster aunt after her father died… and the list goes on. (For the whole story, read it online for free at: http://www.classicreader.com/booktoc.php/sid.3/bookid.1368/ ) I can tell you a true story of one person who rose above seemingly insurmountable struggles to become a beacon of light for all those who were blessed by his presence: my father. Dad was a hardworking, caring, and compassionate man known by his friends as “Honest Abe.” He was a model of positive thinking in action. Indeed, because of his optimism, I knew nothing about his horrific trials and tribulations until his sister enlightened me in my thirties. At the tender age of three, my father lost his mother to tuberculosis, and he was placed in an orphanage. When his eldest sister could no longer stand the heart-wrenching stories of his abuse in foster homes, she begged their father to allow this youngest of five children to return home vowing that she would be responsible for little Abie. In his twenties, my father served our country on the front lines of WWII, witnessing daily the horror of death as his friends fell to enemy bullets. He ended his tour by liberating the Dachau concentration camp. Just last year I saw for the first time the photos he had taken of skeletons piled high outside the crematorium. I can only imagine how these images were emblazoned into his memory—they will never leave mine. Before and after the war, dad continued working hard, helping his father to run the family farm. Not once did I hear him complain about his life. My father had plenty of excuses to act like a “victim;” instead, he chose to act like Pollyanna. Perhaps because of his struggles, he appreciated more fully every moment of life. The ripples of his genuine delight in his family, friends, nature, and opportunities to learn and grow spread to all around him, touching us immeasurably. Although he had never heard of the Revolutionary Agreements, my “Pollyanna” father was my greatest mentor for actually living them. Through him I realize now the power symbolized by this fictional heroine, and the gift each of us can give to those we touch with this power. The next time I’m asked if I’m being a Pollyanna, I think I’ll say “yes.” Indeed, I’ll shout it out with joy! With gladness,
Agreements
in Action
Midlife Blessings Jean Wright-Yamamoto has worked as a writer, editor, teacher and tutor. At the age of 41, I decided to change careers and, coincidentally, so did my husband. He and I found ourselves in the middle of mid life crises. I was burned out teaching in the public school system, yet I still loved working with kids. My 51-year-old husband was exhausted as an overworked family physician, yet he was still committed to healing. Our relationship was definitely strained because we were redefining our missions in life. At an age when most couples are fairly settled, we were wondering just who and what we wanted to be when we grew up. It was a fearful time and, in hindsight, a blessing in disguise because our communications, out of necessity, reached a depth that ultimately recreated our marriage. In choosing to change what was not working for each of us as individuals we ran the risk of losing each other. What if the choices we made sent each of us in a different direction? We spoke our truths like never before and we listened with new respect to the challenges and fears the other faced. I found a niche for myself tutoring high school kids in writing. My husband created his own practice, much smaller and more manageable. He is able to get to know his patients and I am happier knowing I can make a difference with kids on a more intimate level. Together we manifested another mission, our most daring of all: we began the process of adopting a child from China and hope to have our little one by the end of the year. The Agreements are a wonderful support system and work regardless of belief or religion. Now, in my early 40’s, I am to become a Mother for the first time and am both nervous and excited. The Agreements will definitely be integral to my skills as a parent. “Parent.” What a wonderful word - I can hardly wait. Judith Bonfoey is an entrepreneur. Her businesses have included art galleries, jewelry stores and presently, Solutions for Living Well, a business that focuses on health and growth of body, mind and spirit. www.solutionsforlivingwell.net While working with a woman new to our team on how to build a successful business, I inadvertently said something that offended her. Although I did not know what the issue was, I could definitely sense that something was amiss. When I looked within at my own reactions I recognized some familiar questions that usually come up for me: “What did I do? “Have I hurt this person in some way?” “How do I fix it?” I called her to address it. As I listened with my heart I realized that this issue was not about me at all. She requested that I give her time to process and work through this issue on her own and she would call me when she had it resolved. As much as I would have liked to have “fixed” the problem right then and there, I chose to honor her choice and to respect our differences. I tend to be aggressive in my style of communication while this woman is less so. My timing in building a business and my methods of dealing with conflict do not always coincide with others’ timing and methods. I realized that I cannot “fix” anyone. Speaking my truth with compassion and listening deeply with my heart I was able to see the best in myself and in this lovely woman. I relaxed and allowed events to unfold naturally. The woman called me soon after and we had a very enlightening conversation. Our personal and business relationship now has the foundation to move to a higher level. And there is an added blessing as I look forward to working together: she practices the Agreements as well. Because it is so easy to understand and implement, Revolutionary Agreements has become a handbook for integrating my professional and personal life and I recommend it to my team to help them move forward into abundance and joy. Resolving Conflicts Directly Restores Peace and Quiet Kathy Grace is a retired real estate broker who is exploring life and all it has to offer. Among her interests are taking classes that are unusual and stimulating. One such class was the introductory program on Revolutionary Agreements. I own a rental property on the river in Estes Park, CO. When it is not rented I like to go there myself to enjoy the quiet beauty of the surroundings. Recently I invited a friend to join me for a weekend and we went up anticipating quiet walks, reading and good conversation. When I arrived I noticed that the owners of the property next door had a new tenant. There were lots of cars parked outside and it appeared there was a party in progress. The evening wore on and instead of winding down, the party got even rowdier. When we retired for the night, we hoped the sounds of the river might drown out the noise next door. I chose the bedroom closest to the house next door hoping that my friend would have a better chance at quiet in the other room. At 2AM I awakened to party noise. The next morning I asked my friend how she slept and she remarked “I was fine until about 2AM when I heard the party going on next door.” That did it. I decided I would call the owners of that house and let them know just what kind of tenant they had and the disturbance they were making. After all, I had my future tenants to think of and it could affect my rental business. Ironically, I had just read Revolutionary Agreements, which I had shared with my friend over the weekend. Suddenly, the agreement, "I agree to resolve conflicts directly," popped into my head. Hmmm. This was my opportunity. I walked next door, rang the doorbell and waited until a young man answered. He was slightly disheveled and looked like he’d been up all night, which was not surprising. I spoke my truth asking, “Is this what I can expect every night?” He was most apologetic replying that this was an unusual occurrence. They were celebrating the birthdays of three people and chose to have one big party. He assured me it would not happen again. The agreements are valuable because they bring so many things into conscious awareness. Through the use of just one agreement, I was able to resolve this conflict directly, easily and amicably for both parties without unnecessarily involving the owners. I realized how often we tell others instead of speaking directly to those with whom we can resolve our issues, and am grateful for this positive experience of putting the Revolutionary Agreements into action. Honoring Our Choices in Marriage and Divorce Andy Noble has practiced daily meditation for over 20 years and lives on the Island of Kauai where he helps people find the home of their dreams and the health and prosperity to enjoy it. Andy.Noble@hawaiimoves.com My first marriage lasted 18 months; the divorce lasted 2 years. I was angry and resentful. It would have been easy to stay stuck in blame and regret. But as time healed some of my wounds, I also came to grips with my role in the problems of our relationship. A few years later, I met Coral. In contemplating getting married again, I realized how many good things I had learned from my previous marriage. Both Coral and I developed a deep appreciation for the lessons from that first marriage and for my first wife, to the extent that when Coral was introduced to her and her new husband, they had a great connection and enjoyed each other’s company. When all four of us subsequently got together, I experienced deep love and appreciation, with no trace of acrimony or bitterness. In working with the Revolutionary Agreements, I see now that several Agreements came into play. It was honoring our choices to marry and subsequently to dissolve that marriage that brought me to this new level of acceptance and love. I was able to see the best in her and also in myself that, in turn, enabled me to respect our differences. All of that allowed me to eventually move into my present relationship as a more fully aware and participating partner. Love Notes
Calendar of Events Thursdays, July 14 – August 18, Lafayette, CO: New Horizons Church of Religious Science. Six-week program on "How To Create More Freedom and Joy In Our Lives and Our World" using Revolutionary Agreements. $50/six weeks or $10/session. To register or find out more about the program, call the facilitators: Carol Hoskins at 303-661-9697 or Kate Birky at 303-412-0871. Friday, July 29, Kapaa, HI: “Ladies’ Night Out.” An intimate chat and book signing with Marian at 7:00 p.m., hosted by Rosemary Smith and Vicki Thrift. For reservations call: Vicky Smith, 808-822-3718 . Sunday, August 21, Ventura, CA: Ventura County Church of Religious Science. Marian is the guest speaker at the 9:30 a.m. service. For more information call Susan Seale: 805-643-1933. Thursdays, beginning Sept 1, Ventura, CA: Ventura County Church of Religious Science. "How To Create More Freedom and Joy In Our Lives and Our World" using Revolutionary Agreements. To register or find out more about the program, call the facilitators: Susan or Bill Seale, 805-643-1933. I love summer. I love being barefoot – on the beach, in the grass, everywhere except on hot concrete. Remember hide and seek at twilight, playing tag in the dark with flashlights, and chasing those magical dancing lights called fireflies? Our children remind us how spontaneous and fun life can be and how to live in the moment. Are your shoes still on? Barefoot Blessings, Linda
Beach T.A.G. – Blessings from the Ocean by Linda Leary Everyone’s
eating baked beans and hot dogs Sandcastles take shape with Peter and Gwen “I hate you Pete!” Mom and Dad jumped up and into
the brawl, (Aren’t summer vacations great?) Mom yanked at Gwen and Dad reached for Pete “It’s
not my fault,” said
Pete to his mom. Dad put the palm of his hand to his head. Dad prayed for a miracle and Mom did the same,
“Hey Gwennie, look there, it’s an otter!” In a flash, the fight was over and done. We all lightened up enjoying the sight Mother Nature has offered her wisdom. I took a deep breath and gave thanks for the day
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